When I got HONEST

Let me be honest. 

I really like to talk [insert everyone who knows me, around the globe, in unison, saying "Weird, Melody!"]

So, back to me.  I really like to talk.  Not just friends, family, co-workers, etc etc.  But I love to make friends with strangers.  I've been known to strike up a hearty convo with just about anyone at anytime.  Here is my public apology to my husband, Scott.  Sorry, babe.  

There have been many times in my life where I've felt like I've possibly said too much.  Or was it to the right person?  Did they even understand me?  Oh great!  Now they're judging me.  Cool.  Well, that went well.  Then I go from "They're TOTALLY judging me" to "They don't want to be friends, they think I'm a crazy person who doesn't shut up."  If this is you, and you're reading this, I'm not going to apologize, but rather I'm going to come to my own rescue here and tell you why my brain vomits like this.  

I thrive on real-talk.  I love it.  Like, really really love it.  I buzz with glee when people trust me with their stories and choose ME when they need to unload their heart on to someone.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying I LOVE when people are miserable.  That's not what I'm getting at, here.  And I'm not necessarily saying I love to fix people's problems.  Although, many of my friends would say that I dated a few guys in our youth who needed a good girl to set them straight.  Or that my friends, themselves, needed me to keep them from going off the deep end, as much as I needed them to help me step outside of my comfort zone now and then.  And by comfort zone, I mean, taking me to a high school party and handing me a strawberry fields Boon's Farm and telling me to chill out - (sorry mom and dad).  I'm saying that, for me, engaging with people and unleashing the holds in our hearts about real life subjects electrifies me!  

Social media and the internet of things has given society the opportunity to hide our true selves.  Honestly, I feel awful about it!  God gifted me this body, this heart, this brain.  And I will absolutely admit there have been several times I have morphed it into something I felt was better than what he gifted me with.  I only shared the photos I want the world to see, that weren't humiliating.  I only shared the experiences that looked glamorous, rich, and like we're 'living the dream' (most annoying quote masked in sarcasm ever created...sorry I used it).  Then, when I'd be face to face with someone, doing the real life talk stuff, they'd look stunned.  STUNNED.  "But you look like everything is coming up roses?"  

Cool.  I've failed.

I did this once.  I got real honest in a social media post and like a gut punch, someone said "Wow!  I never would have guessed!  It looked like you guys had been doing great!"  I wanted to crawl in a hole.  I hadn't been honest, like I thought I had.   So then I got real honest, with quite a few people.  And the raddest of rad things occurred.  They got honest right back.  We cried, we hugged, we prayed, we laughed, cry again, hug again.  Hours of conversations, encouraging text messages, notes in the mail, long hugs at church, no words really needed.  The connections felt truer than true and so real.  The best part?  I quit feeling so alone in my feelings and the anxiety about life began to diminish.  

God never intended for us to do life solo.  His intention was for us to unite with one another, lift each other up, use His powerful promises to guide us out of darkness.  He cannot physically be with us, but the people placed in our lives were put there by Him for a reason.  Listen carefully in the moments.  He could be encouraging you to tell your story so you can be restored and seek healing.  In turn, you could be that to someone else who needs it.    

Melody Todd