Energy Drainers vs. Energy Givers
I didn’t give much care, when I was a young adult, to who I said yes to, what I said yes to, or how much of my time it would absorb when I said yes to others. It wasn’t until I was two kids in, a demanding job, losing sleep over stress, and adult responsibilities that I realized how taxed I had truly become. We all have the same amount of hours in a day, so when you begin deducting your precious time to give to others, you’re essentially telling yourself that their time is more valuable than your own. There are obviously appropriate circumstances where giving of your time for acts of service or supporting a friend in need is a valuable use of time and energy. I’m not speaking of these things. I am referring to the moments where you recognize that you are depleted and yet still saying yes to all things.
You are the owner of your time! So, let’s fix this.
Over the last several years, I’ve begun taking note of what DRAINS my energy and what GIVES me energy. We will call these, so creatively, ENERGY DRAINERS AND GIVERS.
These are the things that either drain your time and energy or give you a sense of accomplishment, energy, and help you work towards your goals and inspire GREATNESS! Okay, that was a bit dramatic, but you get the idea.
It’s fairly obvious what the hindrances are for DRAINERS, but let me remind you how beneficial your GIVERS can be:
Healthier immune system and overall wellness
Better shape inside and out
Improves mental wellness
Nurtures healthy flourishing relationships
Sets clearer boundaries
Promotes growth and opportunity
My list of GIVERS:
Essential oils or palo santo smudge sticks
CBD oil
Tending to my house plants
Quality connection time with my spouse
Making time for deep connections with friends
Responding to my body’s needs/emotional needs
Meditation
A family hike
Learning something new
Meal prepping
Moving my body first thing in the AM
Eating clean (GF, reduced sugar) + 3L Flow alkaline water
Washing my face and skin care rituals
A good 7-8 hours of sleep
Watching a classic 80’s or 90’s movie or listening to 80’s music
My list of DRAINERS:
Toxic relationships
Too much caffeine
Alcohol
Too much scrolling on social media
Junk food and sugar
Fixating on my “imperfections”
Gossip
Anxiety, or trying to control an outcome
Traffic/Commuting
Spending my valuable time and energy trying to fix other people’s problems
Too much sitting + watching mindless TV
Having FOMO
Procrastination followed by stress
Trying to change other people’s opinions of me
Attempting to please everyone
Craft your own list of Drainers and Givers
Think about all the things that either support positive energy or result in feeling frustration or fatigue. Use YOUR personal list of Energy Drainers and Energy Givers on a daily basis as you wrap up your day.
INCORPORATE YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLES
In combination with determining your DRAINERS and GIVERS, write down your non-negotiables to further elevate the importance of your givers. These are the things you govern and put boundaries on. That no matter what, you will make time for these as they GIVE you energy, support your mental and emotional wellbeing, and align with your values.
What are your current non-negotiables? These will typically be things that GIVE you energy or benefit you in some form, and are priority in your day, hence the word “non-negotiable”.
Examples of my personal non-negotiables are:
moving my body 20 mins each morning
my full body/face skincare rituals
quality time either in the AM or PM with my family
ensuring that I drink plenty of water during the day
What do you want your ideal non-negotiables to look like? In a perfect world, how would your non-negotiables look?
Example:
moving my body 20-30 mins each morning
my full body/face skincare rituals AM/PM
ensuring that I drink 3L of water during the day
time in meditation and prayer each morning
family dinner together at least 5x a week
quality no-TV/electronics time with my family each evening for at least an hour (this could include getting outside, walking the dogs together, etc)
10 minutes of writing or journaling
at least 7 hours quality sleep
Preserving my energy and time for those most important in my life (spoiler alert! ME, and my family)
TAKE ACTION
Now, it’s time to take action. This will mean a few things:
You’ll need to learn how to say NO respectfully and without saying “I’m sorry” - there’s no reason you need to feel sorry for preserving your time and energy.
“I have a full plate at the moment”
“I want to give you my best, and at this time I’m unable to do so due to other commitments”
Communicate your needs and desires for preserving your energy with those closest to you. This might be your partner, your boss, or your dearest friends. Let them in on your plan.
Be open to being vulnerable about your needs. It’s one of the hardest things to do, as we’ve been conditioned to be strong, take it all on, never say no, and do it all/be all to everyone. Now’s your time! Take back your time and energy and write the script for your future. This will inspire others to do the same once they see how much clearer you become.
take note & modify
Using the list of Energy Drainers and Energy Givers on a daily basis as you wrap up your day. Note what drained your day and what gave it positive energy. Lean towards recognizing the drainers to help modify your day to day and try to reduce those drainers. Determine how you can promote more of the GIVER in your day!
I would love to hear from you and how this has helped you in any way. How can I support you in your journey? Please tag me @HonestChatter on Instagram or feel free to share your experience by commenting here on this post.
Relaxation Statement for Better Rest
“I am calm. My body is relaxing. I am safe.
I inhale deeply the gift of this breath and exhale out any pain and suffering and negative that does not serve me.
I am calm. My body is relaxing. I am safe.”